Introductions...

Hello there!


Thank you for deciding to check out my blog! I am Alexandria but I go by Lexi most of the time. I am a Transgender person male to female. Basically this means I was born and raised as a boy. Then 3 years ago I had an epiphany that I was a female and I am transgender, it felt nice to have a label for it. I used to wish I was a girl but I didn't think that it was socially acceptable so I kept it to myself, and on top of that I didn't know about hormones and sex reassignment surgery so I thought there was no way I could actually be a girl. Then I began dressing as a girl and going by the she & hers pronouns, I tried all sorts of clothes out from dresses and bras to heels and a skirt. That's also when I started going by my  new name, I was Alex Collins, now I go by Alexandria Krause! I told my mom about how I had been feeling and she was actually really relieved that she finally had an idea of why I was depressed and anxious. She was also excited that she could help me with my transition and becoming happy again. My mom is the most supportive and loving person in my life, she is very strange or annoying sometimes but she is the most supportive person in my life!

My dad was not as receptive as my mom to me coming out as trans. He told me I would have to be on medication my whole life and tried to tell me how hard it would be to live my life like that. But I explained how much pain and depression being a male causes me, he still doesn't get it but his response kind of sounded disappointed and he thinks that I "chose a really hard path" but honestly I didn't choose to be transgender its just how I was born, if I had a choice to be a cisgender woman I would do it in an instant. (Cisgender means that you identify with the gender you were born as). My dad doesn't get how its not a choice and that gender isn't binary, but there are some family members on his side that are VERY supportive, my Uncle Joey and Aunt Mickey. When I went to that side of the families dinner for Easter they made it very clear how much they support me, it was nice. I knew she supported me but I thought she would not be actively supportive of me, I thought she would just keep it to herself or whatever.

 I have been struggling with depression and anxiety, the anxiety makes eating impossible for me I am just never hungry and sometimes the thought of food makes me sick. I remember being 13 and starting puberty and I tried to fight it so I wouldn't go through it. Looking back at it now it is pretty clear that I dreaded it so much because I knew that wasn't who I was. I feel alot better now that I am on hormones, I also take an anti-testosterone pill to stop my body from absorbing the testosterone. Hormones are just about the greatest thing to happen in my life, I can finally almost feel at home in my own body. I now have a sense of control and motivation to be myself. I used to not go out in public because I was not comfortable as who I was, so I would mainly play video games as a hobby.

Video games are still a huge part of my life, I love PC gaming. I play alot of CS:GO (I am a MG2 and used to be Legendary Eagle before the patch that shifted skill groups, I am a huge nerd lol). I also play ArmA 3 (As well as ArmA 2), I like survival games too. I play mostly shooters like Rainbow Six Siege or Battlefield 4 or Battlefield 3 but mainly CS:GO.

Another passion of mine is Twitch streaming and making YouTube Vlogs and gameplay videos.
I am not able to stream as much as id like since I have college to attend and lately I've been very lonely so I have been hanging out with friends almost everyday. It is my goal to hold a schedule so that I make videos frequently and on time! I miss you guys a lot! Please enjoy the rest of your day and thank you so much for all of your support!

I hope to continue this blog and to post regularly so that this could hold people off till I make more YouTube Vlogs or Gameplay videos.
Thanks for reading I hope to see you again soon!